Adoption
So, my Mom always wanted to adopt a child and my father said he couldn't love a child that was not his own the way he could love his own. My Mom abandoned the idea of adoption. A few days ago, I was talking to one of my co-workers who had 3 miscarriages. She's now about 44 and childless and loves children. She didn't adopt because her husband didn't think he could love an adopted child like his own. Pity on him because now he has jack squat.
When Paul and I first married, we spoke about adoption and he was okay with the idea. This week, I've been thinking about it more and more. I pity anyone who feels that they can't love a child unless it's from their own womb. To me that's a major flaw in someone who wants to be a parent and truthfully I think it would be a make or break for me with a marriage. It says something about you as a person that you can only love your own. Your love therefore has conditions. If that's the case, then I know I'd always hate you just a little and it would eventually gnaw away at me until the union failed.
What I find fascinating is that adopted childrean are often so much more grateful that your natural children. They understand that you didn't get them through the luck of the draw. You chose them. Of all the children in the world you could have opened your home and heart to, you chose them. That in and of itself is much more special than just having a child. You get what God gives you and you may or may not like that child...but with adopting a child, you get to make someone realize that even though your circusmtances were not the best - you are so immensely special to me.
Now, I'm thinking about adoption more and more. I want to go back to Jamaica and adopt a baby from a children's home. I know I want a fair skinned child so that he or she is similar to our other child. I want the parent (if they are still around) to give us pictures, write a letter and do a video for our son or daughter. I know that it will be difficult as the child gets older and wants to know who they came from, and I want to make sure that they have an idea of who their parents are. I'm willing to send pictures of the child through the years to the biological parent but I don't want any contact until the child is 18 and chooses to make that contact him or herself.
I'm thinking about this more and more for to whom much is given, much is expected.
When Paul and I first married, we spoke about adoption and he was okay with the idea. This week, I've been thinking about it more and more. I pity anyone who feels that they can't love a child unless it's from their own womb. To me that's a major flaw in someone who wants to be a parent and truthfully I think it would be a make or break for me with a marriage. It says something about you as a person that you can only love your own. Your love therefore has conditions. If that's the case, then I know I'd always hate you just a little and it would eventually gnaw away at me until the union failed.
What I find fascinating is that adopted childrean are often so much more grateful that your natural children. They understand that you didn't get them through the luck of the draw. You chose them. Of all the children in the world you could have opened your home and heart to, you chose them. That in and of itself is much more special than just having a child. You get what God gives you and you may or may not like that child...but with adopting a child, you get to make someone realize that even though your circusmtances were not the best - you are so immensely special to me.
Now, I'm thinking about adoption more and more. I want to go back to Jamaica and adopt a baby from a children's home. I know I want a fair skinned child so that he or she is similar to our other child. I want the parent (if they are still around) to give us pictures, write a letter and do a video for our son or daughter. I know that it will be difficult as the child gets older and wants to know who they came from, and I want to make sure that they have an idea of who their parents are. I'm willing to send pictures of the child through the years to the biological parent but I don't want any contact until the child is 18 and chooses to make that contact him or herself.
I'm thinking about this more and more for to whom much is given, much is expected.
posted by SueMorrWill @ 9:33 AM
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